It has been 2 weeks ++ since my last post. Things have been terribly terribly crazy for me. There's my Salsa Exam on 21 Oct, then my birthday on 22 Oct, then the Capoeira Workshop which started on 23 Oct and in 3 days in a row, then there's all the wedding preparation which I only have weekends to settle, my working days have been hectic as there are several events coming up in November which are in Turkey & Africa and there a loads of work to be done. So no nothing much can be settled during weekdays....

Anyway, today's post is not about details on how hectic my life has been. It is about how I am so frustrated that I'm not being heard and not being able to say things that I want to say. And not being able to get the other party to listen and understand what you're trying to say, is very very frustrating indeed. I would be like "Are you even listening to what I'm saying???" and if they say yes, then, why did they still get the wrong idea?? Am I telling it wrongly, or am I not speaking clearly? Or even in worst case scenario -you not being able to speak at all!! As the other person is so keen of talking that they did not even gave you the chance of replying/talking back. Then you started doubting yourself -maybe I am wrong, maybe I did not speak out my point clearly otherwise how did this misunderstanding/argument occured? After countless nights of wondering why, why, why, Thank God, suddenly today, this article fell down to my "lap" ;) On what is the difference between listening and hearing. I hope this article can benefit you the same way it benefit me. :) Here's for a better understanding and better communication in life...

How many times have you been frustrated by someone who is not listening to what you are saying? How many times have you frustrated others by not listening to them?

People tend to think that listening is the same as hearing, but the truth is, listening is hearing PLUS understanding.

Often times during a conversation we jump in to say what is on our minds even before we acknowledge or register what the other person is saying. This ‘butting-in’ short circuits the possibility of a mutual understanding between you and the other speaker, even if you did not deliberately set out to break the flow of conversation.

How do you know when a person is not listening? It is usually easy to sense this. Tell-tale signs are poor eye contact, shuffling feet, busy hands, and meaningless replies like, “That’s interesting…”, “Oh really?”, “Uh huh…” etc. A fake listener’s lack of interest in the conversation can also reflect an even more annoying reality – his or her lack of interest in the speaker.

Most people don't listen with the intent to understand, but listen only with the intent to reply. Even at work, where performance takes priority over relationships, listening carefully to understand the other person's point of view before you even think about replying is the key to productive communication.

Careful listening is difficult and takes practice to improve. Next time you get into a conversation, try to ‘care enough’ to understand what the other person is saying.

It has been like 13 days since my last post and the first thing you heard from me is disappointment news *sigh... I wanted to post something earlier, but what with the raya holidays combined with my internet connection that's very unstable and sometimes excruciatingly slow, had also contributed to my unwillingness and "malas" ness (laziness) to update my blog.

Anyway, back to my main story, just to make things clear before I start writing -it was a night of disappointment to me and me only -and not to anyone else. In fact to everyone else, it was probably the most enjoyable night ever and to tell you the truth it was kinda fun and entertaining. But to me, the night is the my most disappointing night of year 2008.

Date of Incident: 10 October 2008
Event: Company 10th Anniversary cum Annual Dinner 2008

Why do I dubbed it as my most disappointing night of 2008? Let me count the ways:

(1) Even in the 1st correspondence for the night, my name has been left out. I got to know from my department colleague who so graciously sent me the mass mail for my reference. Seeing that it has some exciting events and competition lined up, I have submitted my name for the Karaoke Competition.
(2) Even though I have submitted my name in the Karaoke Competition and participation has been confirmed, SUPRISINGLY my name is still left out in the 2nd correspondence in regards to the dinner itinerary. Funny how my name is stated as 1 of the participants, but the email is not even copied to me.... But copied to all of other staff....

(3) To my horror when my colleague forwarded me the email -I am the first participant to perform on that night. Yikkessss!!!!!

(4) I am again missed out in another correspondence in regards to celebrating staffs birthdays which falls in Sept & Oct'08 at the same night. Not only am I not included in the communication, my name was also not stated as 1 of the "babies" celebrating birthday in Oct'08 (Yes friends, if anyone is taking note, my birthday is on 22 October ;)). Instead of getting pissed off, I just send an email to inform the admin that my name has been left out, and even got a reply back that they apologize and has put my name on the list

(5) On the night itself, being the first contestant, my heart was beating like a jungle drum for human sacrifice and I was sooooo freaked out that on 1 of the high notes, I lose control of my voice and it cracked. Arrgggghhhh!!! Thank God everything else went smoothly. I gave a somewhat professional and confident performance even though I feel like sinking through the floor. But what the h*** even if you've made a mistake, better do it in style right? Heh

(6) Not expected -my name is still left out when they're calling for the Sept & Oct "babies" on stage. Urgggghhhh!!! When I asked veryyyyy niceeellllyyy to the admin -she said she had submitted my name to the MC (cum my HR whose the person who actually left my name out in the first place) and when I ask the MC -she said that that is the list that was given to her by the admin. Heh.

(7) The result of the Karaoke Competition really put me off guard. I got 3rd place ONLY. What's that? I should be glad I hear you say?? Well maybe if I'm competing in One in A Million or Malaysian Idol. But it is very insulting to lose to average singers who sang a very non-challenging song and didn't bring anything unique to it like I did. Oh and did I tell you I'm the defending champion? Now I know how Siti Sarah / Dayang Nurfaizah felt when they got eliminated. :p

Anyway, I did ask the judges in their professional decision, what makes me not the winner -and they say it's because my voice cracked at 1 point and the others who won over me -did not, even though they're performance are so-so and average only. Heh. Well, to be fair, the guy who won 1st place was quite good, but the 2nd was really nothing special! I even checked the criterias in the score sheet and the marks is from 1 -5 for (1) Voice quality (2) Performance (3) Appearance (4) Crowd Response. And believe me, despite the 1 time voice cracked, I got the other 3 criterias down-pat. The crowd cheered like crazy and I was utilizing the stage like a pro. Whilst the ones who won just stand there looking at the screen. Heh. Now, do I have the reason to be pissed off and insulted or not? Nevertheless I still put up a smile, go on to the stage to take my prize (but not even pausing to pose for a photo -i just want to get it done and over with), and congratulates the other 2 winners. Oh well, there's still next year. Now that I know their capabilities, I will not give any of them to win over me ever again. ;) Muahahahahaaa.

Am I a sore loser? Up to you how to judge it. But I am not going to be a hypocrite and pretend that I am fine with it when I'm not. Oh but there's 1 good thing that came out of this night despite the 7 disappointing points -it put my name on the company map again (the company is growing bigger and bigger and we have a lot of companies in the group) and I made new friends with people from other companies. This, I'm quite happy.

So there you go. Me rambling about the most disappointing night of 2008. Since there's 2 months more to go in 2008, I really hope nothing else in the near future tops this night. There might be people whose going to post bad comments about this, but hey i'm just voicing out my frustration, and as long as it did not bring any harm to anyone, please don't be too hard on me and gimme a break OK? ;) Signing out for now, until the next post, Take Care!!

Malaysia's 'worst in the world' taxis tarnish national image

Reads the headline of Regional - MSN Malaysia News - News for today, 18 September 2008. It reported that in a survey by the local magazine The Expat, some 200 foreigners from 30 countries rated Malaysia the worst among 23 countries in terms of taxi quality, courtesy, availability and expertise. There are complains all over from tourists (not to mention locales) that the taxi drivers refused to use the meter, overcharge and pick-and-choose which destinations they will travel to. There's once where a tourist was charges RM260 for a trip from KLIA to KL!! Now this is really too much.

My personal experience came from taxis in Subang Jaya area. If you take a cab from Carrefour to Sunway Pyramid they will charge you a flat rate of RM8 even though it's a teensy weensy distance. And from Carrefour to Old Klang Road / SS2 PJ, they will charge a flat rate of RM15 although it only took 5 minutes using LDP from Subang Jaya to Old Klang Road. Paying for the toll is fine, but all in all I don't think it should came out more than RM10 or even RM8 for that matter, including the toll. This is in broad daylight, mind you and not the after midnight charges. Me being hot and tired, just agreeing while grumbling all the way. Did I protested? Of course I did! But guess what -all of the other taxis there took the same rate! Believe me, I've asked. Suprisingly (or not so suprising to some of you), all of them have some sort of "United CabFare Agreement for Subang Jaya". So there you go.

Anyway, I can't say that this news is a shock for me, but to have people from other countries pointing this out, voted us as the worst and reported it as news headline is downright embarassing. Somebody have to do something about it. In fact, a lot of bodies have to do something about it -like tightening the rules, do random checking in the complained area -like going undercover or something to investigate, and suspending the license of the offender for a period of time; those kind of things. (See? I'm not only complaining, I also give suggestions). I'm sure a lot of us has file in complains or even SMS to the number at the back of the taxi / cab, but are there any actions taken? I wonder... *Sigh

Read the headline news here http://news.my.msn.com/regional/article.aspx?cp-documentid=1682892

What Tun Mahathir posted yesterday in his blog Chedet on "Why Don't I Do Something" really caught my attention and made me input my comments. Since there are hundreds of comments for every blogpost made my Tun, I'm sharing my point of view with my dearest friends here...

My comments on Chedet.com on "Why Don't I Do Something"
Dear Tun, I really feel for you. I hate it when people ask "Why Don't Tun Do Something". At this time all you should worry about is your health, your family, and your ibadah. The others should give you a break. You have done what you could and still doing it. But I know how hard you must feel when the country that you so painstakingly build, is going to dumps. So fellow countrymen, please give Tun a break. If there's anything needed to be done or change it should be from our side from now point onwards.

As far as resigning from UMNO and (God forbid) going to other parties, I don't believe it's such a good move. If every good leader leaves, who else can make change?? A change can only be made by ourselves. That's why me & my fellow cawangan members are still there, in hopes to the change from the smallest part... If every current members have this kind of thinking, I really believe we could make change. We need each and every one of you! So please come back & fight together, and don't keep pointing fingers on who should do it. Allah bless.

Yes, I am pro Tun Mahathir, and have been admiring Tun since I am little (in my little known way). I waited to be 21 just to be able to vote for my country. But everything that is happening in the country nowadays has made me really really angry and really really sad... I worry about the future of my children if we still did not realize the impact. But nowadays youngsters are ignorant of what is happening and often think with their heart NOT their head. They are being driven by their own "hot-bloodedness" that they failed to see the impact of their action.

Fellow countrymen, stop complaining and do your part. And believe me, a "rusuhan" or "tunjuk perasan" is not the way. Throwing rotten eggs or drain water to other people has no point. What can you achieve?? There's no point in doing something that you know cannot achieve anything. So please... Take a good look at your life, pray for inspiration & guidance, and do something meaningful and clever, not stupid.

1. Don't ever lie to us; we always FIND OUT!

2. We DON'T ENJOY talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening.

3. Don't say you understand when you don't.

4. Girls are pretty, but yours is ALWAYS the Prettiest!

5. You don't have PMS; don't f***kin act like you know what it's like.

6. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.

7. If you talk about having a big D***; we know you don't.

8. Size does matter, but only to hoes; not girls that want real relationships9. We don't like it when you act like Mr. Big.

10. A system in your car only impresses your homeboys not us.

11. No matter what you say, your ex-girlfriend is a hoe.

12. It's good to be sensitive, sometimes.

13. If you did something wrong or even if you didn't, apologize

14. Be spontaneous; dinner and a movie won't always cut it.

15. We are self-conscious by nature; we can't help it. 16. We are DRAMA queens.

17. Fashion police do exist.

18. Don't ask us to give u head; if you are nice you just might get it.

19. We absolutely DO NOT care about monster trucks, car systems, paintball, or anything else you and your friends talk about... in other words shut the f*** up !

20. Hugs and kisses must be given at all times. ;)

21. We don't shave our legs everyday so get over it.

22. Don't make bets about us; we will always find out.

23. Shave; no matter how cool you think your goatee or beard or mustache looks, we always hate it.

24. Even if you think it is cool to burp, fart, or emit other strange gases from your body, it isn’t, so DON’T..!!

25. Don't compare our breasts with Pamela Anderson's; hers are fake, just remember that. (u have a better shot at ours than you ever will with hers, you may as well give it up now)

26. It is not cool to shoot snot rockets.

27. We are BEAUTIFUL at all times.

28. We will always think we are fat, so humor us and tell us we aren't.

29. You can shoot hoops, score a goal, knock down big fat guys, and hit a little baseball with a stick, so why the hell can't you piss in the toilet and not on it.

30. Most importantly: WE ARE ALWAYS RIGHT; so don't forget it! ;p

This is dedicated to all my friends (past, current & future) who ever doubted themselves...

I am special. In all the world, there is nobody like me.

Since the beginning of time there has never been
another person like me. Nobody has my smile.
Nobody has my eyes, my nose, my hair, my voice.
I'm special.

Nobody anywhere has my tastes, for food or music
or art. No one sees things just as I do.

In all of time there has been no one who laughs
like me, no one who cries like me. And what makes
me laugh and cry will never provoke identical
laughter and tears for anybody else, ever.

No one reacts to any situation just as I would react.
I'm Special..!

I'm the only one in all of creation who has my
set of abilities. Oh! There will always be
somebody who is better at some of the things I'm
good at, but no one in the universe can reach the
quality of my combination of talents, ideas,
abilities and feelings. Like a room full of
musical instruments, some may excel alone, but
none can match the symphony, when all are played
together. I'm a symphony.

Through all entity no one will ever look, walk,
think or do like me. I'm Special, I'm rare.

And as in all reality, there is great value.
Because of my rare value, I need not attempt to
imitate others. I will accept, yes!
Celebrate my differences.

I'm special and I'm beginning to realize it's no
accident that I'm special. I'm beginning to see
that God made me special for a very special
purpose. He must have a job for me that no one
else can do as well as I. Out of all billion
applicants only one qualified, only one has the
right combination of what it takes.

That one is ME ... Because I'M SPECIAL !!!!!!!!!

If you like this post, you might like this one too I've Learned...

This is originally posted by my good friend Uncle Tim Ho in 2007. When petrol price and our essentials i.e. rice, bread, butter, etc. etc. haven't gone up yet. :p Now, slightly adjusted by myself...

Very interesting... read on. Somebody should get this to 'people on top'…
Let's do some simple calculations here.

In Malaysia, the average family income is RM3,000 /month (where father works, mother doesn't).

I understand there are many families whose monthly income does not reach RM3,000, but, to make things simple, let's take RM3,000 as the figure. Ok lah, right?

Okay, let's start rolling with a family which has Papa, Mama, 1 daughter and 1 son.

Calculation starts...

Electricity and water bill: RM100
(No air-con, No home theatre, No water heater)

Phone bill (Telekom): RM100

Meals for a happy family: RM775
(3 meals on RM25/day, RM25 for 4 persons…?)

Papa makan during working hrs: RM155
(RM5/day, RM5 … can eat what?)

Car repayment: RM400
(A proton saga aeroback, 7 yrs repayment)

Petrol (living in city, traffic-jam): RM300
(go to work, bring son to school, only can afford one car running. By the way, is RM300 still enough nowadays??)

Insurance: RM650
(kids, wife and father)

House repayment: RM750
(low cost housing repayment for 30 yrs, retired still have to work to pay!)

Tuition: RM80
(got that cheap meh? i don't think so)

Older children pocket money @ school: RM20
(RM1/day, eat bread?)

School fees: RM30
(enough ah?)

School books and etc: RM100
(always got extra to pay in school)

Younger children milk powder: RM50
(cannot have the DHA, BHA, PHA one, expensive)

Miscellaneous: RM100
(shampoo, rice, sauce, toilet paper)

Oh wait!!! I have to stop here, so... No Astro, no movie @ cinema, no DVD, no CD, no online, cannot KFC, cannot McDonald, cannot go Park walk during weekend (petrol expensive), no chit chat on phone with grandparents, and etc...

Let's use a calculator to total up... WALAO EH! RM3,610 already…

Already reached RM3,610... even without deduction of EPF, Socso & Income Tax...

If like this, how to survive...?

Our Prime Minister asked us to change lifestyle? How to change? Don't eat? Don't work? Don't send children to school and study?

Besides that, I believe in Malaysia population, there are millions of rakyat Malaysia which still don't earn RM3,000/month!!!

What is this? This is "Malaysia Boleh..." Sorry... it should be "Malaysians Boleh", because we're still alive and kicking!!

P/S Anyone got better suggestions on where to cut and where should add on (due to "under-calculatedness' hehe) or want to share their budget/actual expenses, you are highly welcome to! We all need some suggestion now on how to cut cost now...

This is the worst thing that I have ever posted & got really really bad threats from guyz!! Hehe. But it's fun though, so guys, please don't get your underwear in a twist! I'm posting it here -for entertainment purposes. ;)

26 October 2005
The Brutal Trust About Guys

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in nappies.

2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? Just shut the door.

3. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.

4. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

5. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.

6. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

7. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

8. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him cheque books.

9. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

10. Sadly, all men are created equal.

This is for all you girls 30 years and over.... and for those who are turning 30, and for those who are scared of moving into their 30's...AND for guys who are scared of girls over 30!!!!... Read on.. It’s interesting…

This was written by Andy Rooney from CBS 60 Minutes.

Andy Rooney says:As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.

A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 30 give a hoot what you might think about her or what she's doing.

Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 30 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 30. They always know.

A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress. Heh.

Ladies, I apologise. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.

Heh. Ironic.

I used to get heavily critiqued when I posted this in my Frienster blog 3 years ago. I'm posting it here now for fun.

Words of Wisdom From Sex & The City

To all my lady friends, read this… It make good sense. Don’t be so blind. Errr… the guys can read also, as a guideline. ;) heh.

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.


Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

If you have ANY doubt in your mind about a man's character, leave him alone.

Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.

Don't force an attraction.

Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Have faith in God regarding your relationship, but don't let faith make you stupid. God does things decent and in order.

Don't settle.

If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

If he keeps changing his mind about the relationship--take that as a BIG sign that he is unstable. Do you really want to be with a man like that?

Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

Honorable men take care of their business and aren't involved in a whole lot of mess.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

There's ONLY ONE 'reason' a man dumps you; he doesn't want you.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

You really do have to kiss a few frogs before finding the prince.

Always put yourself and your happiness first.

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

If he doesn't call, he just isn't that interested.

Be honest and upfront.

Know when to cut the cord, don't be strung along.

Don't fall for the "I'm confused role". Remove yourself from the situation to let him figure things out (but don't wait for him, move on).

If you want to have a clue as to how he will treat you, watch how he treats the WOMEN in his family (not just mom).

There's more than physical abuse, there's emotional and mental abuse. If he causes any of them...flee.

You cannot change a man's behaviors. Change comes from within.

Don't let him place rules on you that he is not willing to follow himself - double standard.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job.

Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Demand respect and if he can't give it, he can't have you!

Don't compete with other woman, but be aware that men are attracted to what they see.

If you think he is cheating, he probably is. Confront him right away and if you feel he's lying, let him go.

Actions speak louder than words.

Never let a man define who you are.

NEVER rely on a man for compliments, look to YOURSELF for that.

Never borrow someone else's man.

If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

Just because he says he loves you, doesn't mean that he won't hurt you and it doesn't mean that you are meant to be with him.

To use painful hard-won wisdom -- 'get it right' the next time.

Know that you deserve to be the number one person in the life of the #1 person in your life.

Love is a verb ....

Learn to give up your lifelong task of trying to make someone unavailable-available, someone ungiving-giving, and someone unloving-loving.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.

If you don't love self...you can't love anyone else.

You cannot mend someone else's broken heart.

You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

I've learned....That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I've learned....That when you're in love, it shows.

I've learned....That just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day.

I've learned....That being kind is more important than being right.

I've learned....That you should never say "no" to a gift from a child.

I've learned....That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.

I've learned....That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

I've learned....That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I've learned....That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

I've learned....That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned....That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned....That money doesn't buy class.

I've learned....That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've learned...That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned....That the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?
I've learned....That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've learned....That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

I've learned....That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I've learned....That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

I've learned....That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I've learned....That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I've learned....That life is tough, but I'm tougher.

I've learned....That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I've learned....That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I've learned....That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I've learned....That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I've learned....That I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.

I've learned....That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

I've learned ...That it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life threatening situation.

I've learned....That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

P/S The unrealized lessons of life... :)

I was digging thru' the junk documents in my thumbdrive and I found this old blogpost of mine. In Friendster originally. Written on 9 Dec'05, but I'm re-posting it here so that I can re-share the experience.. Check it out...

9th December 2005

It has been so long since I jot down something here. But I just had the most refreshing conversation with a very wise friend of mine and I wanna share it with all of you.
This person is a very senior person (and wise, I may add again) in our company. I was having lunch with him today. And he talked to me about 2 things –How to be happy in life & in a relationship. He said all the feelings that we’re feeling is just a state of mind. Hence, if we’re bored with a person or bored with our lives, its all just inside our mind! And we are the only person that can change that. We are responsible for our own happiness. Happy conditions does not mean that we will be happy all the time. i.e. “If I have a lot of money (conditions), I will be happy or if I have a big car (conditions), I will be happy” But then, how come some people who have all that are still not happy? Because it’s all is state of mind. Therefore, in order for us to create happy conditions, we ourselves must be happy first. So we will have to change/adjust our way of thinking. Thus, a happy person will create a happy conditions. Need further clarification on the above? Set up an appointment with me, and we’ll talk this over the tarik. ;) Heh.

As for being happy in a relationship, he said that “Seek to understand, then, we will be understood”. Often we are so selfish as to tune our partner to our needs, when we ourselves are blind to theirs. On why are they reacting this/that way and stuff. If both of us practice this way of thinking & understanding, I’m sure that we will have a long-lasting relationship. Bored with the same person? It’s in the state of mind. We are responsible for our own happiness right? We are what we are today is because of our own doing. A cheater? A liar? Happiness is within ourselves. Don’t forget that & we’ll be happy wherever we are, whomever we’re with. Oh, & I tell you this –this man really knows what he talks about. Why? He’s been courting his current wife since he’s 16 years old, and now his 60 and still happily married. Never strayed away from his 1 true love. “But mind you!” he said, it’s not easy, it need working. We know, we see that there are a lot of beautiful people in this world, there’ll always be someone more prettier, more brainier, more interesting than our partner. But are we going to leave/cheat on our partner everytime we meet a better person? The choice is in our own hands. State of mind. We are what we are by our own doing. Remember? Heh.

I feel very blessed knowing all the people I knew. I love meeting people (as long as they’re not some psychopath or sex maniac! Eeuuuuwwwhhh!!). And to me if we really wanted to evolve as person we must be open to accept different types of people in our circle of friends. That’s how we grow as a person. Continuous improvement. Sticking to the same ‘ol circle will constraint our thinking and believes and self-development. Therefore if we wanna be a better person, to improve our lives; expand our circle of friends, and probably I’ll hear u guyz sharing your experiences and discoveries with me too!!

Have A Nice Day Everybody!!! =)

Experience taught me to never give excuse to any man, ever. He didn’t call –he’s just not interested, you're not in his mind, you're not important enough to call, etc etc. He didn’t ask to see you –again, he’s just not interested, you're not in his mind, you're not important enough to spend some of his time. As simple as that. Don’t think about the maybes… he’s busy wif his work.. bla bla bla.. Just, don’t! Coz there’s just no excuse. Wanna talk about work? U will have work ‘till you die. Unless you get very, very lucky. No time to meet up / go out for date? There’s always the phone. Still very very busy? 5 minutes to just ask how you are, that he can’t see you but would very much want to, he can’t talk long… bla bla bla. Still no time? Then, it’s back to –you're not important enough for him to make that call. Heh.

A Friend...

(A)ccepts you as you are
(B)elieves in "you"
(C)alls you just to say "HI"
(D)oesn't give up on you
(E)nvisions the whole of you
(F)orgives your mistakes
(G)ives unconditionally
(H)elps you
(I)nvites you over
(J)ust "be" with you
(K)eeps you close at heart
(L)oves you for who you are
(M)akes a difference in your life
(N)ever Judges
(O)ffers support
(P)icks you up
(Q)uiets your fears
(R)aises your spirits
(S)ays nice things about you
(T) ells you the truth when you need to hear it
(U)nderstands you
(V)alues you
(W)alks beside you
(X)- plain things you don't understand
(Y)ells when you won't listen and
(Z)aps you back to reality.